When the Middle Show does an episode of Newsflash, the writing team cracks down and writes a lot of jokes.  Most of them don’t make the episode, not because they’re not funny…well, actually that’s usually exactly why. But, we thought we’d let you be the judge by presenting a few of the Newsflash jokes that fell short of Internet glory.

--Legendary designer Yves Saint Laurent died earlier this month, at the age of 71 and strangely, it wasn’t from AIDS.

--It has been announced that Eddie Murphy has signed on for a fourth Beverly Hills Cop film.  Also announced Judge Reinhold will work for the first time since the last Beverly Hills Cop film.

--A high school student allegedly gave his teacher a muffin laced with pot causing the teacher to flip out and eat all of his cocaine in front of the entire class.

--An Australian man survived a shark attack by poking the fish in the eye.  Does that work with stingrays too?  'Cause if it does, man, somebody should have taught Steve Irwin that trick.

--Actress Tatum O’Neil was arrested for buying crack from a homeless man. The news left many Hollywood insiders shocked as no one knew people were still smoking crack.

--There is a website imploring people to write "jedi" in as their religion when the next census comes around. Census officials were fine with the suggestion, saying it would allow readers to then skip the married question.

--Parents of hundreds of children seized from a polygamist sect are free to begin picking up their kids under an order issued by a Texas judge, who apparently hates kids.

--A 17-year-old girl was arrested for drunk driving but claimed she failed the sobriety test because she kissed a drunk boy... Later that evening the girl sat on a toilet seat and got pregnant.